Monday, March 2, 2009
Can two believers be unequally yoked?
I have another question that you could answer on the blog concerning 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, when the Bible says be not unequally yoked with unbelievers. I have been told by quite a few believers, that this also applies to people in other church denominations. Is this true? For example, is it a deal breaker to date/marry a Church of God in Christ person if you are a Baptist (with a non-denominational philosophy)? I wonder because when I check, Paul says that it's not good to have any divisiveness in worship of Christ (I Corinthians 1:10-15). If the other person is also Christian, then how is that being unequally yoked?"
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I hate to do it but I have to answer your question with a question... (sigh)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this question just applies in just a denominational way -- what if your partner attends the same Baptist church with you and is a believer by all accounts. But his pursuit of growth is just different from yours? He is not engaged in active growth in his personal relationship with Christ. So while you are seeking God's favor through focused and unwavering efforts; your partner is doing what they can, when it magically happens. Doesn't that make you "more" un-equal? Does that make me the "ox" and he the "ass"?
I mean is it wrong to prefer to take a faithful COGIC man, over a flaky baptist...
In this passage the Apostle Paul is making a secondary application using a larger principal. Speaking specifically to the issue of believers entering into relationships with unbelievers, he urges against what would be an obvious imbalance that often leads to disastrous consequences. Like mixing dairy products with… you fill in the blank. The primary principal is taken from Deuteronomy 22:10. “You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together.” He could’ve easily said black belt and brown shoes, uh, nooo. Or uncle Chris please leave your plaid and polka dot outfit in the closet this Easter. See, it’s not just the quantity of faith involved, but also the quality of that faith together. Sooo, while dating outside of your “denomination” isn’t wrong, just be sure to get a thorough understanding of what the other person believes. I hope we get some more feedback on this one. O' and baptist are never flaky... lol ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think it applies to unbelievers as well as members in the church. For me its important that the people I surrond myself with have a growing relationship with God.
ReplyDeleteNot to say that I dismiss others because that's not true. Others that don't have a relationship with God or have stopped talking to Him, I do my best to be real and honest. I remember when I was not a Christian and a young man showed Gods love thru himself.
He was the example, he did not preach to me..he just was himself. I undestand that people are in different places at different times. As for me in a relationship it's important again for my mate to have a growing relationship with God. I know that God has a special mate prepared just for me.
Now I wait for him to find me versus going out and looking for him, which helps eliminate the wrong ones that I should NOT be with. Or making every man that shows me attention "the one". It took a while to get to this place, so please know I am not tooting a horn, It's all God!!! I am thankful that God has placed good men in my life to be an eample. Good men, that are trying and respect me and treat me a sister, as precious.
Even in friendships I am learning that there are certain woman that I should not be around as well as men. I lived a life w/out Christ for soooo long, I don't want to move w/out Him anymore. That's why I became a Christian. I don't want to make the same mistakes over and over again.
In closing I think it's both believers and unbelievers that God is speaking of in the passage. A lot of people believe & know that working out will indeed give them the physical results they desire..but won't take the time to workout &/or make it a priority....
Just my thoughts.
So my thinking is a maybe a little different. I understand that an ox and a donkey are both animals, just different types. I believe, however, that their thinking cannot be transformed as another human being's can. I think Jesus is the great equalizer. If you have the love of Christ in common (and present) and if you are both on the same path of growth in Christ, then will not His spirit correct any crooked path? Can we end any dispute or disagreement by both going to the Bible to see what God has said about the situation? We have a common ground to start with and if we both hear from God, He can direct our paths. When God sends us our mates, we know that they won't be perfect because if they were, we would be inclined to worship them rather than God. That being said, can we also assume that the mate He directs us to will not be completely mature in Christ, but may require more pruning? I wonder if marriage is in itself intended to be a ministry, one encouraging the growth of another. God invest in you, you invest in me and vice versa. A willing and humble spirit, I hope, can level the playing field...
ReplyDeleteThe question -- The partner he "directs us to will not be completely mature in Christ, but may require more pruning? "
ReplyDeleteHow much pruning? LOL Cause I don't know if its cool for me to take on a project either- all in the name of God will make him better (not that this is what TampaGirl is saying).
Maybe cause I have been the "pruning project" in some relationships - with the guy saying come on already - you gotta get it together!
AND I have dated the "pruning project" And it all ended the same - the "project" be it me or him needed to get "seek first the kingdom"
It's personally important that two individuals be on the same accord, especialluy in a marriage. The Bible says that two people cling together in marriage, which means in faith and worship and in every other way as well. So its important to know what the doctrine and beliefs are of the other person's fatith. Is is based on Christianity? Do they accept some parts of the Bible and leave others out? Do they interpret the scriptures in an entirely different way than you do? As is discussed in the book of Ephesians 5 and in Collosiand 3 and 1 Peter 3 in terms of God's ordained plan for marriage and the family, is this indiviudals denomination in line with the teachings in the Bible? Denominational worship and beliefs can be barriers in the marriage relationship. I grew up AME but now I am nondenominational. I also spent a great deal of time in the Baptist Church as a child and teenager. I personally have visited a lot of Baptist Churches that i really like. But I have left my roots in the AME Church and i haven't been happier. Once you find a Church where the word is truly taught and you and your mate can both grow spiritually and both mature, you will be fine. It's when denominational differences come into play that cause the problems. If the Bible is the base, the foundation, its a matter or both individuals finding a place of worship that they both can be happy with and ehere they both can grow in God's grace and live with each other according to God has ordained marriage.
ReplyDeleteCan we really end any dispute or disagreement by going to the Bible to see what God has said? In denominationalism the Bible is usually where the disagreement begins.
ReplyDeleteI think understanding the doctrine that your suitor's denomination teaches is very important. Jaroslav Pelikan says doctrine is what a church "...believes, teaches and confesses on the basis of the Word of God."
Now I tend to take an ecumenical approach to study and pursuit of understanding. However, as William J. Carl III says, "Not all discourse that employs Christian vocabulary is proper Christian discourse any more than a sentence using nothing but English terms, such as "He don't do no wrong to nobody," qualifies as a proper English sentence…" Some "Christian" teaching is really way off base and makes agreement difficult if not impossible.
When considering a potential mate's religious background I would suggest exploring areas of potential disagreement in order to make sure there are no deal breakers rooted in the fundamentals of our beliefs.
Some basic questions to pose to any suitor are: What do they believe concerning justification, salvation and sanctification? Do they pray? And don't just take their word for it, when an opportunity presents itself ask them to pray. How do they see the Bible? Are they in their Word? If so what passages of scripture are they currently studying? What is God teaching them as they're reading? What Christian authors are they reading?
You had better find out what's really going on... or you might hook a David Koresh/Jim Jones type cat.
Finally, Jesus said, "Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. These diseased trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned." Matthew 7:15-20(The Message Bible)
In that passage substitute the word preachers with christians and tell me what you think.
Sorry I had to repost... One of my editors said I needed more paragraphs... lol.
ReplyDeleteFrom: Godwin Camille
ReplyDeleteSent: Tuesday, March 03, 2009 1:36 PM
To: Graham Vickie; Moore Carol - Eisenhower
Subject: RE: Blog-tastic!!!
I can’t logon, it’s blocked. But I can answer the question, somewhat anyway. Firstly, Church of God is different. Their beliefs are different from mainstream Christianity. They believe you must receive the “gift of tongues” in order to receive your salvation. Not true. I attended that church for awhile in NC. It all seemed ok for aw hile, but then it came out. They are dogmatic in their doctrine regarding women wearing pants, wearing makeup, etc. Watch out for these folks.
1st I want to say I am feeling everything everyone had to say. Now let me give my 2cents for what it's worth. To answer the question about 2Corinthians 6:14-18 applying to (relationships with) people in other church denominations.
ReplyDeleteI would say that this passage "Does Not" apply. Wooooow, hold your mule wait before you label me a hieratic let me make my case. Starting at the proof text that Com. of Hope gave. Deuteronomy 22:9,10,11 seem to have a similar theme. Generally improper mixtures should be avoided, specifically in planting, plowing, and clothing. These things seem similar on the out side (2 seeds, 2 plowing animals, and 2 pieces of fabric.) when put together though brings destruction.
Paul uses Deut.22:10 figuratively to specifically address intimate fellowship with Unbelievers. Two humans (child of God & a child of the devil) look at some of the words Paul uses: righteousness & unrighteousness, light & darkness, Christ & belial(the devil), believer & infidel, temple of God & idol. Stark contrasts two Christians can never be described this way.
Therefore you can't use the 2Cor.6:14-18 text as proof for Christian unequal yokeness. You can though use the Deut.22:9-11 verse or Amos 3:3 as proof text for that train of thought.
O yeah, in reference to 2 people being together just because they are Christian. I think it should go deeper than that. Doctrine plays a large role in whether you two can walk in the same direction(figuratively speaking). So, know what your theological leanings are before you inquire about anyone elses. That's my 2cents for what it's worth.
Seeking HIM first,
JMcCall633
Really? I didn't know they were so extreme. I thought Church of God (in Christ?) was different because they believed in a slightly different interpretation of salvation. I was told that they felt you had to continually seek salvation from God, rather than accepting Christ just once and growing from that point on. Interesting...
ReplyDeleteIf that is truly their way of thinking about salvation then it brings about some questions for me.
ReplyDelete1. How can you continue to seek salvation from God if Jesus died once and for all? (It's like if I was drowning the life guard would have to jump in the water to save me and if I drown again he would have to jump in and save me again.) If Jesus death and resurrection is what saves us then HE would have to die and be resurrected again to save us. Jesus said it is finished at the cross (what is the it He's talking about).
2. Is our salvation based on Christ plus our doing something? If that is true than that negates Ephe2: 8-10 (Christ alone)
Salvation is broken up in to three parts: Justification(happens instantly 1 time), Sanctification(happens over time, a process becoming holy), and Glorification(happens at death when we receive our new bodies 1 time).
These are just some questions help a brotha out.
Seeking HIM first,
JMcCall633
This post is from Gypsy Gallardo:
ReplyDeleteHi Pastor – Tried to post, but them it required me to pick a “Comment As” selection – and I tried doing it as “Open ID” but couldn’t get anywhere with it –
Nevertheless, here is my comment (the one I tried to post under the handle “Newbie blogger”) ……..
First let me say I'm grateful for a blog/space where believers can turn for the type of dialogue and depth that is often unavailable through traditional teaching environments (e.g., Sunday school).
Second, I think it's important to "yoke" ourselves with believers and non-believers alike. It may be naive and uninformed, but my experience with non-believers is that the Holy Spirit often works through us the same way water shapes a stone (drop-by-drop); and that non-believers are sometimes won to Christ after sustained contact with believers who minister to them gently and non-intrusively over time (sometimes years).
Forgive me if I'm missing the point or fail to understand the scripture.
**************************************
I agree w/ brother Mccall there should be a much deeper connection to God versus just the title of being a Chirsitian. However I don't know what "know what your theological leanings are before you inquire about anyone elses" means.
ReplyDeletePlease enlighten me. I think you mean one should know what they believe before getting into intimate realtionship with another. To be firm, unable to be manipulated?
I think it's great to have a teachable spirit as long as the one doing the teaching is living the example (Christs example), to help there mate grow as well.
Again, enlighten me...
My fault for the Christianese some time it just comes out. What I was saying was, just knowing what you believe about God, His word, salvation, ect. Having a firm spiritual foundation. Hopefully this clears that up if not let me know.
ReplyDeleteSeeking HIM first,
JMcCall633
Thanks Anya... I was hoping someone made him explain that last statement.
ReplyDeleteOh... and I agree with Gypsy. So using your analogy, in a marriage between an unbeliever and believer who would be the stone and who would become the drip? lol Think on that one.
ReplyDeleteHi! is anyone out there? I know this blog is many years old, but I want some clear reasons of two how/where "believers", "Christians", can be unequally yolked. Scriptures to back up please. I believe that is quite possible.
ReplyDelete